


New Guest Star

by elementalv



Series: Misha Does Supernatural [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/F, girl!Misha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-25
Updated: 2011-11-25
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elementalv/pseuds/elementalv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misha is fond of pointing out to anyone who will listen (and everyone who tries desperately not to), that she’s a successful actress despite her fashion sense, thus proving for once and for all that the price of tea in China really does have a profound influence on whether or not a butterfly farts in Rome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Guest Star

Misha is fond of pointing out to anyone who will listen (and everyone who tries desperately not to), that she’s a successful actress _despite_ her fashion sense, thus proving for once and for all that the price of tea in China really does have a profound influence on whether or not a butterfly farts in Rome.

This is usually when Victoria puts away the good weed and tells everyone that it’s Misha’s bedtime. This is also usually when Misha smiles gently at their friends and asks if anyone wants to join them that night. The women look vaguely tempted, but the men have all learned by now that Misha bites — hard — and that they shouldn’t chance it if they aren’t willing to put up with a month-long hickey.

After the last person leaves, Victoria always tells Misha that this is why they can’t have nice playmates anymore, but by then, Misha has stripped naked and is lying on the bed, fingering herself with an air of puzzled confusion. Victoria generally gives up at that point and joins her.

~*~*~

The first time Jensen sees Misha, he doesn’t know he’s looking at the latest guest star; instead, he thinks he’s looking at a fan who somehow managed to wander onto the set without being caught. His mistake is understandable: she’s wearing the most god-awful sweater Jensen has ever seen. It’s thick and fugly and knit of colors that just don’t appear in nature. He thinks maybe she stole it from the Salvation Army.

(He will later find out that she didn’t steal it from the Salvation Army, that she actually found the sweater in a bin at St. Vincent De Paul, an organization with whom she has a slightly less complicated relationship. He will also learn that the Salvation Army confuses Misha. On the one hand, she will tell him, it takes society’s rejects and helps them lift themselves out of the gutter. On the other hand, it treats certain rejects as immoral, simply because of a genetic quirk over which they have no control, so yes. Misha is confused. Jensen will be, too, especially come Christmas, when he will stand and stare at one of the collection buckets for a full two minutes before muttering, “Fucking Misha,” and guiltily throwing in a five dollar bill.)

Jensen is about to text Clif to ask him to take care of a potential situation when one of the production assistants walks up to her and says, “Makeup is ready for you Ms. Collins.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she says. “Ms. Collins is my maiden aunt who’s never once gotten laid in her life. Call me Misha.”

The PA smiles and says, “No problem, Misha. The trailer is this way.”

After they walk off, Jensen’s first thought is, _Jesus. They couldn’t have found someone prettier to play the psychic?_ He second thought is to kick himself, because seriously? His mom raised him better than to let Hollywood take over his brain.

~*~*~

Misha always cleans up pretty well whenever anyone can get her to sit still long enough for makeup to go on. The problem, of course, is sitting still. She doesn’t like it, and never has. There’s too much interesting shit in the world for her to be happy spending an hour in a chair, and if she could get by without it, she would. Too bad for her that makeup is a requirement for anyone who wants to be on camera, so she follows the PA to the right trailer, and as she passes Jensen (who is seriously too fucking pretty), she says, “Remember the _Maine_ ,” and leaves it at that.

The PA says, “What?”

Misha answers, “My cat can probably beat up his dog. Do you think HBO would be willing to film it?”

She isn’t at all surprised by the blank look on the PA’s face.

~*~*~

The second time Jensen sees Misha, he’s managed — finally — to stop trying to figure out why she told him to remember the _Maine_ , but now he’s obsessing over what a difference two hours has made. Makeup and wardrobe have played a role in that, no question, because she looks pretty damn hot despite the fact that she’s wearing acid-washed jeans straight from the 80s — he’s pretty sure his mom had a jeans that looked just like that, complete with the poofed out hips and ankle-hugging hems — and a long-sleeved t-shirt that manages to be demure, even with a pretty decent rack stretching it out.

Still, despite the improvement in her appearance, he wonders if the makeup and wardrobe played only a small role in her transformation. He can’t bring himself to believe that only a couple of hours would be enough to change the unfocused and diffuse nobody he saw earlier into the confident woman standing there now. She projects barely contained energy and vitality that go way beyond anything Jensen is prepared for, and he’s not entirely sure it’s simply because she’s getting into the Pam Barnes character. He has a feeling this is the real Misha shining through, and if it is, God help him, because he doesn’t think —

“Jensen,” Kim says. “Over here.”

He blinks and manages to turn away from watching Misha. “Yeah?”

Kim just raises his eyebrows, and Jensen shakes his head. “Sorry. What’s up?”

“Normally, I’d have you rehearse, but I talked to Eric, and we’d like to shoot this scene cold.”

“Come on, man.” Jensen seriously hates shooting without the benefit of rehearsal.

“Indulge us. Everyone is set with the blocking and knows their lines, so all you need to do is react.”

Kim’s last sentence leaves Jensen with a tight ball of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, because it suggests that at some point, Jensen’s script won’t mean anything, and he might have to start making shit up while the cameras roll. He hates improv, and he hates Kripke for giving him one script and giving everyone else another script.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have a lot of time to worry about it, because Kim, who’s pulled this shit on him before, knows well enough to distract Jensen immediately by telling him they’ll start shooting in a few minutes. It’s not until Jensen is redirected from the Barnes set to the _barn_ set that he realizes a) he misread the shooting schedule; b) it’s not a problem, because he still knows his lines; and c) most important of all, he won’t be working with Misha just yet, which is probably more of a relief than it should be. So, too, is the knowledge that Pam Barnes is probably only a one-shot character, based on what the script had to say. He isn’t sure why Misha has him so off balance, but she does and he is, and it will be abso-freaking-wonderful to get their scenes over with, so he doesn’t have to think about her anymore.

Jim takes one last look at his lines before handing his script and coffee over to one of the new PAs. Jensen doesn’t know the kid’s name, but he looks mildly terrified, and that’s never a good sign. When he leaves, Jim asks quietly, “You think he saw Jared eating breakfast?”

“That, or he got caught downwind of one of his fart monsters.”

Jim grimaces. “How the hell do you stand those scenes in the Impala?”

“Damned if I know. Hey, you seen the guy who’s playing Castiel?”

Jim looks confused, but before he can answer, Kim bellows, “All right, everyone, places! Jim and Jensen, cameras 1 and 3 will be on you, and camera 2 will be on Castiel. Feel free to react to whatever happens.”

The last is said with a moderately evil smile, and all Jim and Jensen can do is hope that “whatever” doesn’t include several thousand gallons of cold water being dumped on their head.

For once, Jim and Jensen manage to get through their lines on the first take, and he has only a fleeting moment to wonder how the hell they distracted Jared long enough to get this scene shot. He’s sitting on the table when he hears Kim say, “Lots of noise, and it’s clear that something big is about to happen.”

Jensen hops off the table and brings his gun up, trying, as the script suggested, to prepare for what Castiel might turn out to be and wondering whether or not the building will, in fact, survive the meeting. He and Jim hit their marks, and it isn’t until the doors blow open that he finds out just how well and truly fucked he is, because right on cue, Misha walks in like she owns the place.

~*~*~

When Misha was thirteen, Freddie Rentschler asked her to the eighth grade Spring Fling. He stammered and blushed and was kind of adorable about the whole thing, and the only reason she hesitated to say yes was because he wasn’t Lucy Kramer. Lucy had dark hair and big, dark eyes, and she starred in most of Misha’s ardent, if somewhat chaste, fantasies. However, even at the age of thirteen, Misha was incapable of lying to herself, and she knew perfectly well that Lucy would never wake up with the sudden realization that she liked girls better than boys. This was why, after giving Freddie only a moment of panicked indecision, she said yes, she’d love to go to the dance with him. She thought that if nothing else, she could maybe moon over Lucy when Freddie wasn’t paying attention.

When she went to audition for _Supernatural_ , it had been almost twenty years since she last saw Freddie, but as soon as she saw Kripke’s face, she was right back in junior high school again, and she sympathized. He clearly expected a man to show up, and he just as clearly was getting desperate to cast the role of the demon, which no doubt explained why he told her to go ahead. When she started to read, she noticed that Kripke seemed to have the same epiphany she went through when Freddie had her out on the dance floor, his boy-dick making itself known as he held her close and with reverence. Like Misha, Kripke was discovering that even though he didn’t have what he really wanted, what he did have was pretty awesome on its own.

Misha is thinking about both Freddie and Kripke as she watches Jensen mentally wrench himself out of what he thought he knew and into what Dean knows now. As they make their way through the scene, Misha becomes even more impressed. Behind the very pretty face of Jensen Ackles is an actor who knows his character at least as well as he knows himself. There are no stumbles or fumbles, even when it comes time for Jensen to stab her in the chest.

~*~*~

Jensen opens the door to his trailer with more force than strictly necessary, only to find Jared sprawled on the couch.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Working on characterization with Gen,” Jared says, not looking away from Super Mario.

“Gen?”

“Genevieve Cortese. The new Ruby. Remember?”

“I thought the new Ruby was someone named Traci.”

“Nah. She’s playing Pam Barnes.”

“Damn it,” Jensen says as he goes to his filing cabinet. “I could have sworn Misha was playing Pam Barnes.”

Jared, clearly preoccupied with beating Jensen’s score, says, “No. He’s playing Castiel.”

“ _She’s_ playing Castiel,” Jensen says. He digs out the casting sheet and has to reread it twice. “Fucking Manners. It says right here that —” Jensen reads it a third time before he finally notices the sheet is a month old, and that the actor playing Castiel isn’t listed on it.

The video game makes an obnoxious sound, and Jared tosses the controller down. He says, “Wait. Misha is a girl?”

“Yeah.” The mental voice of his mom clears her throat, and Jensen amends that to. “Woman. Whatever. Misha isn’t a guy.”

“But Misha stands for Mike or something in Russian,” Jared says. And then he cracks his back, which makes Jensen shudder every. single. time. “On the other hand, there’s Mischa Barton, but she has a ‘c’ in her name.”

“And there’s also Michael Learned, the actress who played the mom on _The Waltons_ ,” Jensen says, suddenly impatient. “The point is that Castiel is being played by an actress, _not_ an actor.”

“Yeah? So? What’s the big deal?” Jared asks.

And for the life of him, Jensen can’t come up with an answer that doesn’t make him sound completely insane.

~*~*~

“All in all,” Misha tells Victoria that night, “it was a good day.”

“Hmm,” Victoria says. She sounds sleepy, and Misha is certain Victoria is curled up under the covers and possibly playing with her left nipple, the one that used to be pierced.

Then Victoria makes another noise, and Misha asks, “Who’s in bed with you?”

“Tina stopped by,” Victoria says, her breath catching just so.

“Tina? Tina of the purple hair and questionable self-restraint? That Tina?” As she talks, Misha moves closer to her hotel bed and pushes down her underwear, kicking it away before she lies down.

Victoria hums in agreement, and Misha asks, “Is she doing that thing with her tongue? You know, the —”

“God, yes,” Victoria says, her voice deep with arousal.

“Tell me more.” Misha is toying with her clit now, using a gentle, barely-there pressure to ramp herself up.

“She found a new stud for her tongue, and it’s —” Victoria gasps, and Misha groans.

It’s the worst kind of torture, listening to Victoria get off without her, but Misha wouldn’t have it any other way. If they can’t be together every night, then listening in is the next-best thing. Listening in while Tina works her magic makes it that much better and worse for Misha, who dearly wishes she could be the happy beneficiary of Tina’s new tongue stud.

“Don’t stop talking,” Misha says as she works her clit more roughly.

“God. She’s — she’s dragging her tongue all — all —” Victoria’s commentary dissolves into gasps and moans and tiny hitches of her breath, and Misha starts working herself all the harder, intent on getting off at the — “Oh, fuck!”

As soon as Misha hears that, she lets the phone drop a little and brings herself off with just as much noise as Victoria is making. The fact that she hasn’t calmed down yet suggests that Tina isn’t anywhere near done yet, which means Misha doesn’t slow down either. Tina is nothing, if not dedicated to the art of multiple orgasm, and even though it’s just this side of too much, Misha works herself up again and manages to time it just right to match Victoria’s second (or possibly third) climax.

Tina must be satisfied with her work, because Victoria is allowed to catch her breath. After a few moments. Misha brings the phone close to her ear again and says, “We have _got_ to do that again.”

“I think she broke me,” Victoria says, whimpering a little.

“Don’t be a wuss,” Misha says. “Besides, don’t you want to hear about the very pretty Jensen Ackles?”

Victoria doesn’t answer, but Tina does, saying, “I know you’re married and all, but seriously, can this wait until Vic takes care of me?”

Misha laughs and says, “By all means, don’t let me interrupt. In fact, maybe I can help with that...”


End file.
